Everyday Friends

I’ve been reading the biography of Lucy Maud Montgomery, author of the Anne of Green Gables series. If you haven’t read the series (which I highly recommend), Anne is an orphan with a great imagination. One of the sorrows in her life was not having a good friend. A kindred spirit. At one time in her life, she made friends with the girl in the bookcase, Katie. (Katie was not in the bookcase, but a reflection in the glass door.) Desperate for a friend, she made up a whole world in which Katie lived.

The Lord has given me a few kindred spirits during my life. These are the friends who you knew immediately upon meeting that they understood you. You felt an instant connection – like you already knew them. These friends are rare.

Much more common are the everyday friends who don’t require deep intimacy but are always there when you need them. And you are there for them. Friendship grows over time as you attend school, church, or book club together. Circumstances put you in contact with each other, and looking back you can see how your friendship grew. She’s not someone you initially connected with, but after some time, you find that you have a good, cozy relationship. My life is much richer because of these friends and I praise God for bringing them into my life.

When a new pastor and wife come to town, they don’t bring their friends with them. They probably don’t know anyone in their new hometown. On top of all the things they need to do as a result of the move, they also need to build friendships. You can help. Friendship will grow as you share the best place to buy groceries, find a babysitter, or choose a doctor. As you invite her to join your book club. When you ask them to come for dinner after church on Sunday.

Friendships can grow at any time, so even if your pastor and wife have been in the church for years, you can still become friends. It’s not too late.

As women in the congregation, we have the responsibility to encourage our pastors’ wives regardless of whether we have anything in common or are close in age. Don’t expect your pastor’s wife to always be the rare kindred spirit, but work to develop a relationship that turns into a cozy friendship. Both you and she will be blessed.

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About Lynnette Goebel

Lynnette is the Director of Operations at RHMA Headquarters in Morton, Illinois. She has attended the same small-town church for most of her life. She adores her pastor’s wife.

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