I threw up a prayer in frustration, “Lord, just help me find it!” I couldn’t find my Bible study workbook. I knew that I had the preschooler entertained for a few minutes, and I wanted to sit with a candle and my cup of coffee and dig into my Bible. But I knew I wouldn’t have all the time in the world, only the 25 minutes that his television show would last.
I looked everywhere, quickly searching through my mess of an office, and even texted a friend to confess that it had been so long since I’d worked in the workbook, that I truly had no idea where it was. But then finally! I found it shoved under my nightstand, covered in dust (I knew it had been a while).
I opened to the next lesson and dove in while sitting at the kitchen island. I laughed at the wittiness of the Lord. The lesson was from John 6:26-40 where Jesus talks to the people in Capernaum about how He is there to feed them with the eternal bread of heaven, and not just the physical bread of this earth.
Just like always, the Lord knew how to speak to me. Recently, so much of my time with God had been spent reading the Bible in bits here and there, quick prayers at the table and bedtime, trying to worship during Sunday service but with one eye always on the child who is struggling to sit or stand still.
Verse 35 made me sigh one of those deep, cleansing, releasing sighs, “Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.’” Yes, Lord, yes. I had been running around, filling my stomach, mind, and heart with things that do not last. I was taking just enough spiritual fulfillment from God to keep me from failing completely, but I was not filling myself with Jesus, the One Who will help me to never go hungry and never thirst. I was so thirsty; I was desperate. I was crawling along looking for that oasis.
The Lord is waiting to feed us with His eternal life, hope, and guidance; we need only to ask. Because we are human and therefore fallen and sinful, we may need to remind ourselves of this from time to time, but I’m so glad the Lord is full of mercy and grace and patience. He’s there, waiting for us.
So here’s my commitment (I always like to follow up a confession with fresh commitment): I won’t let my workbook get dusty, and I won’t let myself starve and thirst. I will remind myself to have moments of quiet with the Lord, that He is there, with the everlasting bread.
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