Colossians 3:23-24 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.
I’ve needed to hear this recently, so I’m going to go ahead and assume someone else in our readership does as well.
It is ok if your top, number one priority is not always being a pastor’s wife. Let me repeat, it is perfectly alright if your first calling is not being a pastor’s wife.
Some of you will say, of course it’s not! First I’m a follower of Jesus, then I’m a wife and a mother, then a pastor’s wife. And that’s not what I mean. Of course there are things that are more important than being a pastor’s wife.
But, it is perfectly ok if you do not always feel called to fit the role of a stereotypical pastor’s wife. Some of us are called to work outside the home, especially to enable our husbands to spend more time and energy in ministry where they may not be adequately compensated monetarily. Some of us aren’t called to lead the music, be at every church function, and head up all the women’s committees while cooking all the food for the potluck.
I’m writing this for myself. Lately I’ve taken a full time position at our local middle school. Our children have had a number of various school events. I had a friend visiting the next state over, from halfway around the world. I’ve had a parent with some major health issues.
All of this combines to say that I’ve not been at every church event lately. My husband and I have had to divide and conquer our evening activities. I missed church two weekends ago. I’ve had a lot on my plate, and I’m often spinning a lot of those plates all at once. I am not up-to-date on all the recent news and going-ons of the church.
I’ve had a very liberal dose of guilt about the whole thing as well. But I was reminded today a number of times that my mission is not only to those in the church. It is with the middle school kid who does not have a support system at home and struggles with getting appropriate attention. It’s in the doctor’s waiting room making sure my mother is comfortable. It’s supporting my children in their scholastic achievements because they’ve worked hard this school year, and it’s important for them to know that they do not always take a backseat to church events.
For some people, being forced into roles in the church is not easy. We don’t fit the mold. I spent so many years trying to squeeze into the box that was left for me. That box fit some other women, but I couldn’t breathe in it. I’ve tried on a few boxes that I thought would fit, but haven’t, and I’ve avoided a few I knew the Lord was asking me to do but I didn’t want to. But, things change. What I was able to do then looks mightily different than it does now. But I’ve also got some life experience behind me as well. I’m learning to lean into my skills that the Lord has given me and broadening my scope of what a pastor’s wife should look like and do.
Am I looking forward to slowing the schedule of summer and checking in on some of my favorite believers? Yes I am. Do I need to spend some time this evening making sure deadlines are met for the upcoming VBS? I sure do. Is it alright that my attention is divided? I sure do think so, as long as I’m working for the Lord.
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