Psalm 5

11But let all who take refuge in you rejoice;

    let them ever sing for joy,

and spread your protection over them,

    that those who love your name may exult in you.

12 For you bless the righteous, O Lord;

    you cover him with favor as with a shield.

I am a romantic. I’m not afraid to admit it. I love old Doris Day movies, I reread Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice every year, and I love hearts and flowers and anything swoony. 

But, I’ll let you in on a secret – my husband is more of a romantic than I am. He’s always the one to plan the best dates, and he asked years ago for a little money in the budget each month to buy me little gifts. He is the driver of romance in our house. 

I would love to write here in this space about the wonders of marriage, tie it up pretty with some reference to biblical love, and send you on your way. However, I don’t know about your marriages, but ours has taken a bit of a back seat this last year or so. We’ve juggled unprecedented things, right? Our livelihoods, schedules, and lives have been shaken up and tossed around. 

So here I am, just a few days before the most “romantic” day of the year, saying – it’s ok to not have romance all the time. It’s ok for those of us who are just surviving. It’s ok if we aren’t getting all dressed up, receiving a dozen roses, and having dinner out on the town. It is ok at this point in the world to feel a little rough and weary. We’ve all had a time. Lately, I often feel the need for a cup of tea and to stare off into space for a little while. 

But what I don’t think is ok, is for us to stay in this place forever. We aren’t called to live a defeated life. We aren’t called to just be concerned with the worldly things in front of us and live in despair. We are called to recognize God the Almighty Creator and live according to His Word. 

Psalm 5 can give us some comfort in these times if we choose to take refuge in the Lord. He is our comfort and our shelter. When we exalt His name with our words and actions, He will bless and surround us with favor. 

We need to ask the Lord for help, just as we should ask our spouses for help. I know that I hardly ever want to appear to need help, because I’m a perfectly capable adult. I have my own ways of doing things. But we need to understand how to rely on others, especially God, and our spouses as well. We need to learn to ask for help and then accept that help. Under the shelter of God’s shield, we can look for help, just as we can in our marriages. Maybe this year for Valentine’s Day, we can all offer a refuge for our spouse to cozy up in and rest.